LSP17: "Why Didn't God Just Show Up in Front of Me?"

A few years ago, I had a conversation with a man I'll call Joe. Joe was very angry about the question of God and suffering (the theodicy question). Some of Joe's anger came from his experience as a gay man who was forced to deal with emotional and spiritual abuse from homophobic Christians who believe God rejects homosexuality.

Joe asked questions that many other people are asking about God. He demanded to know where God had been while he was suffering. He asked why God hadn't just shown up in front of him to give him clear answers about his sexuality and faith. He asked why he had to figure everything out on his own without any help from anyone at all.

This is what I wrote in reply:

What I'm hearing is a lot of anger that God didn't just show up in front of you to tell you it was ok to be gay.

So I'm wondering . . . have you thought about what it would have been like at a practical, realistic level if God actually had shown up to talk to you? Have you thought about the fact that such a miraculous occurrence would have made your life much worse, not much better?

As a mystic, I live on a daily basis with phenomena that seem normal and very practical and scientific to me, but even for me some things would be too much. Too much for my very human, very 3D brain to process. The brain has limits. The brain expects a certain measure of consistency and predictability from the world around it. This is how the healthy brain copes with all the emotions and perceptions and memories and learning processes we cram into it.

Okay. So think about this for a minute. You're sitting in your bedroom and you're praying to God about the painful situation you're in vis-a-vis your family and your sexuality, and suddenly you look up to see an angel of God standing beside the door. You can see the angel's face and hands and wings and glowing robes. Next you hear the angel speak. The angel says, "Fear not, for you are gay. I have come to tell you that God loves you because you are gay. Now go into the world and preach what I have taught you."

So you go downstairs and you tell your family what you saw and heard, and they call a psychiatrist friend of theirs and have you involuntarily assessed, and the psychiatrist gives you a tentative diagnosis of schizophrenia.

So far, you're not better off.

This isn't the worst part, though. The worst part is the self-doubt generated within your own brain about your experience. You start ruminating on it. You go over and over the experience. Did you really see an angel? Who was he? Or was "he" a "she"? Why didn't the angel stay longer? Why didn't he say more? What did he mean when he said you should go out and preach what he taught you? What did he actually teach you?

Did you really just imagine it? Did you have an hallucination? A psychotic break? (Maybe you did!!! -- omigosh, you've gone crazy, and now you'll never have a life or a partner or a job ever again!!!) Can you trust yourself now? Can you trust anyone now?

The loving God who is with you always is not going to set you up for a tragedy like this. A tragedy that would make your life much worse.

Joe, you ask, "Why did I have to figure out everything on my own?" (Though I confess I'm surprised you show no gratitude towards the on-line friends and the non-Christians and the books you referred to, who helped you on your journey according to your own testimony).

You had to figure it out for yourself so the knowledge would be yours. So the insight would be yours. So nobody could take it away from you ever again.

This is an honest, truthful, fair path to understanding and transformation. It requires that you "raise the bar" for yourself by taking personal responsibility for your own thoughts, feelings, and self-knowledge rather than relying exclusively on the authority of others. It requires that you use the resources of your own 3-pound universe (that is, your brain). It requires that you look at Creation in new ways you never thought possible.

And it doesn't ask you to learn within a framework of occult magic, as Pauline Christianity and its predecessors have long expected you to do.

So maybe you might want to consider cutting God some slack.

(I know you say you don't believe in a theistic God, but methinks thou dost protest too much.)

Love Jen

Just for the record . . . I personally believe that a person's core sexuality, whether homosexual or heterosexual, is hardwired into his/her DNA as a permanent, natural, and healthy aspect of his/her core identity. It's a non-negotiable part of who we are. To treat another person badly on the basis of DNA-based sex or core sexual orientation is about as far from loving as it's possible to get. I reject all religious teachings that claim "divine justification" for discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation.

The path of knowing yourself (including knowing and trusting your heart-based sexuality) is a commitment to opening your eyes and your heart to the many everyday clues that surround you all the time. Part of this commitment is a willingness to ask what your fellow human beings can teach you about yourself and about God. Books can teach you. Art can teach you. Scientists can teach you. Families can teach you. Your task is to be part of Creation -- to immerse yourself in all its many narratives -- so you can begin to recognize the colours and shapes and movements and sounds that resonate deep within your heart. A painting that resonates with you is important because you're responding to images your soul finds familiar and comforting. A painting that speaks to you is doing just that -- speaking to you about who you really are. And listening to a painting is a lot less stressful for you and your family than listening to an angel who suddenly pops into your room. This room at the Art Gallery of Ontario features late nineteenth and early twentieth century Canadian artwork. Photo credit JAT 2018.

 

For Further Reflection:

After you begin to master the practice of spiritual gratitude (contemplation and thanks for the positive experiences in life) comes the difficult part of your journey: learning to how to wrestle with the question of suffering and then, after a lot of mistakes, come out smelling like roses.

Nobody wants to do this part. It's just so hard. It's so darned hard that all major world religions have shied away from the question by offering you various escape mechanisms (e.g. salvation; Judgment Day and hell; nirvana; energy balancing; scientism) that sound really good -- and really easy -- by comparison. In Christianity, the apostle Paul thought Jesus' teachings on the theodicy question were so ridiculous and so impossible for regular people to invest in that he (Paul) grafted a Saviour religion onto the roots of Jesus' teachings. Paul thought this was a good idea because he didn't share Jesus' faith in the power of individuals to venture into the heart of suffering to seek the Tree of Life.

The Tree of Life, so different from the Tree of Moral Knowledge, is a tree that's covered in all sorts of unwieldy branches and painful sticky patches and bunches of ugly-looking fruits that ripen at puzzling times. It's unpredictable. It can't be harnessed or controlled. It leans away from you when you try to capture it; then, when you've given up in frustration and stop focusing on it, it suddenly drops sweet seeds straight into your heart. Few human beings volunteer to climb it.

Despite our unwillingness to voluntarily approach this tree, God and God's angels regularly drop us onto its branches so we'll have the chance to figure out the mystery of Divine Love and Forgiveness for ourselves. This is what happened to Dr. Alexander when God plucked him from his orderly life and showed him the Tree of Life, which is to say the family of loving angels he was introduced to during his near death experience.

The Tree of Life, like the trees we know on Planet Earth, holds within its gnarly structure rings upon rings of memory -- memories of transformation, memories of healing, and memories of love.

At the very core of the Tree of Life lie the memories from our Mother and Father's earliest times together. Here rest the memories of redemption.

It's redemption that we, as human beings, experience each time we choose to face our experiences of suffering and learn from them. We don't escape our suffering; we transform our suffering by using our whole selves -- our hearts, minds, bodies, and courage -- to take what we've learned and help others.

Redemption doesn't happen automatically. You have to want it. You have to choose it. You have to dredge up every ounce of courage you can muster to face the pain. You have to be willing to be changed by a past -- a set of memories -- you can't change. You have to learn to bend, like the Tree of Life -- to bend away from those who want you to forget who you really are. You have to learn to forgive.

None of this is easy, but regular people do it every day in every part of the world despite the lack of encouragement they get from their spiritual and religious leaders.

Redemption (unlike the promise of religious salvation) is a universal practice unbound by gender or race or sexual orientation or clan or religion or culture or history. Anyone can choose it.

Jesus knew this. It's what made him so unpopular among his religious peers.

LSP16: You Don't Have to Climb Mount Everest

"Healing and Hope for the Brain-Soul Nexus" is the tagline for one of my earlier books, and it's the central theme of all the work I've been researching on humans searching for God. It's actually a pretty simple idea, the idea that if you heal your own brain-soul nexus, you're on the "easy path" to knowing God in this lifetime. But since when do most of us want to do things the easy way?

While just about everybody else on the spiritual circuit is out there hammering away at the importance of ancient consciousness-altering tools such as prayer and meditation, me, I'm hammering away at the importance of consciousness-healing tools.

This goes back to the roots that are holding up your spiritual tree. The spiritual practices you choose to highlight in your life will depend on the starting assumptions -- the roots -- of your relationship with yourself and God. These choices matter because spiritual practices, no matter which tradition they stem from, all have a specific scientific purpose. They're all designed to do something specific to your brain chemistry.

And there you were thinkin' that spirituality is an escape from ordinary, everyday, scientific realities  . . .

Perhaps you already know that ancient spiritual practices are based on empirical observations about the science of brain function. But most people have been led to believe that spiritual practices such as prayer, meditation, fasting, hallucinogenic drugs, trance states, and energy work are somehow separate from everyday science. They've been led to believe the divine rules are different when it comes to ancient spirituality.

They're not. The rules have never been different for these practices. These practices all create specific changes in your brain architecture whether you want them to or not. They're very powerful tools -- far more powerful than modern pharmaceuticals such as S.S.R.I.'s or mood stabilizers -- and as such, they need to be understood and respected for what they can do, as well as what they can't do.

In my view, it's irresponsible and reckless for religious leaders to recommend intensive use of spiritual practices in the naive belief that science doesn't apply. In God's Good Creation, science always applies. Nobody can escape the consequences that come from overuse of spiritual practices, just as nobody can escape the consequences that come from overuse of food or medication or alcohol or anything else that affects our brain chemistry.

As many wise people over time have pointed out, moderation is the key.

What I'm trying to say is that it's not smart to sign up at the spiritual smorgasbord and pile up your plate with all the ancient goodies you've never tried before. You need to remember that some of these old practices can hurt your brain -- not because the ancient teachers didn't understand how the brain works, but because they did.

I know this is a distressing thought, but there has to be a solid, scientific reason why so many people over so many centuries tried so hard to reconnect with God, yet never felt a dammed thing except frustration and despair. Do you really think God created your brain in such a way that you'd have to climb Mount Everest so you can feel God's love? Do you really think that only the people who set themselves apart to constantly pray and meditate have the potential to feel God's love?

There are ways of communicating clearly with God that can help you heal your brain-soul nexus and feel God's love. (And no -- I'm not about to suggest anything occult!)  There are ways of talking with God and sitting quietly with God that look on the surface like ancient prayer and meditation, but are, in fact, something quite different because they use different parts of the brain than ancient practices use.

What matters here is whether you use the parts of your brain that are hardwired into your soul's own needs.

Consciousness-healing techniques (as opposed to consciousness-altering techniques) always start with an unshakable belief in the good soul that you are.

Instead of trying to climb the spiritual Mount Everest proclaimed in many ancient religious texts, try hiking up a real hill and taking in the view with all your senses. If medical or financial limitations prevent you from visiting the countryside, try sitting in the sun by your favourite window or taking a short walk in your neighbourhood if you're able. Look at the trees. Listen to the birds. Be grateful for the gifts of Creation that surround you and support you. I know this sounds ridiculously simple and not very flashy. But that's the point. God loves all of us equally and wants everyone to have a chance to feel Divine Love. So why would God set up a system that allows only the rich or the full-time ascetics or the already-enlightened to heal the brain-soul nexus? God wouldn't. So start where you are and don't be ashamed if your current circumstances are modest and maybe even a bit ramshackle. God won't care as long as you're trying each day to be a loving person! This photo was taken outside Banff, Alberta. Photo credit JAT 2015.

For Further Reflection:

There's been a lot of talk lately, even among scientific circles, about the importance of gratitude in maintaining our physical and mental health. Gratitude for the good things that come our way is one of the few spiritual practices everyone can agree on. It offends no one. It's also an effective strategy for countering the negative thoughts we all struggle with. Gratitude helps us see the glass as half full rather than half empty. So I highly recommend the practice of positive gratitude to everyone.

How does the spiritual practice of gratitude differ from an ordinary, on-the-fly expression of thanks? It differs because it's a contemplative practice instead of a social practice. If you're like most people, your brain is adept at manoeuvring through complex social interactions (saying thank you automatically) but much less comfortable with contemplative norms (saying thank you when there's no direct social benefit for you). So it will probably take you some time to develop the habit of spiritual gratitude.

Set aside some quiet time each day to reflect on the small things you're grateful for. The place and time don't really matter. You can do your contemplative work wherever you feel comfortable, which may need to be the bathtub if it's the only place where you can find some time and space for yourself in your busy day. You can write down your observations about gratitude if you want to, but, again, the process isn't rigid, so you don't have to write anything down unless it helps you.

The core of the practice is to quietly thank all the people (including God and your angels!) who brought positive encounters and experiences and everyday needs into your life. That's it. Three honest daily observations about the people (especially God and your angels!) who helped you are usually enough (unless you had an especially eventful day). The key is to become conscious of the help you received. Don't take it for granted.

(1) Be aware. (2) Be appreciative. (3) Say thank you. These are the three essential steps of positive gratitude.

It's important not to cheat by making blanket statements about how lucky you are and how grateful you are for just, well, everything. In order for the practice of gratitude to make a difference in your life -- for gratitude to permanently alter your brain networks in helpful ways -- you need to spend quiet time each day untangling the great big ball of blessings you've received. You need to separate and sort your blessings (as best you can) into individual threads.

Why do you have to remember the individual people and individual acts that have made a difference in your life? The answer lies in the way your brain works.

Your brain is tasked with innumerable responsibilities each day, and each task uses up precious biological resources. So in any circumstance where your brain thinks it can save energy by using macros or stereotyping or quick algorithms -- in other words, "brain apps" -- your brain will use its built-in apps unless you tell it otherwise. Like it or not, your brain (unless you tell it otherwise) has an unfortunate tendency to see other people as faceless, nameless "worker ants" whose only job is to serve you. As far as your brain is concerned, this is both logical and efficient, especially in our harried, over-stressed culture.

Naturally, if your brain is invested in forgetting who people are and what people did for you, it becomes difficult for you to see other people as unique individuals and cherished children of God. It then becomes harder to know them, to know yourself, and to know God.

The goal of contemplative gratitude, therefore, is to insist that your brain smarten up and change its priorities. You're telling your own brain that one of your important new priorities is to see other people as individuals, to appreciate their talents, to understand how important they are to the overall happiness of the whole community.

With practice, you'll know them better and you'll know yourself better. Eventually, this will help you know God better.

A wonderful side benefit to this spiritual practice is the unintentional and unavoidable growth of your own sense of Humbleness. After you've spent a year thinking about all the ways in which your neighbours have helped you, and all the ways in which their talents differ from yours, and all the ways in which they're worthy of appreciation, it's pretty hard to maintain the illusion that you're better than other people and more deserving of God's love than other people.

After all, you ain't growing and picking and sorting and packing and shipping and marketing and grinding and brewing all those coffee beans by yourself. Are you?

LSP15: Why I Don't Use Traditional Meditation Techniques

There's a reason why I don't meditate.

I don't meditate because traditional Buddhist meditation practices damage the health of the brain-soul nexus.* Since it's the brain-soul nexus that allows me to connect with God in the Core, I won't do anything to jeopardize the connection. This means (among other things) that I refuse to meditate.

I refuse to tell my brain to stop doing its job so I can have a rest from my own thoughts and emotions.  My brain comes pre-wired with a set of more effective tools I can use whenever I need a rest.

The most important of these tools is sleep. A solid 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep is one of the most powerful spiritual tools available to you. It's free. It's available to everyone (barring circumstances such as parenthood or illness). It's highly effective. And the healing mechanisms that kick in while you're asleep come pre-loaded in your DNA.

I know of people who get up early or stay up late so they'll have time to meditate or pray each day.  They cut short their sleep-time -- sleep-time that's required for optimal brain-soul health -- so they can voluntarily put their brains into "low-emotion mode." The brain's "low-emotion mode" is a lot like your computer's sleep mode: the power's on, but nobody's home. The power's on, but you're choosing not to use your full emotional computing capacity to be the best human being you can be. The power's on, but you're choosing to ignore what it means to love.

"Jesus said: 'The Pharisees and the scribes have taken the keys to knowledge and have hidden them. They did not go in, and they did not permit those desiring to go in to enter. You should be clever as snakes and innocent as doves'" (Gospel of Thomas 39a-b). Emerald Tree Boa at the Metro Toronto Zoo. Photo credit JAT 2017.

Let's face it -- while you spend an hour focusing only on your breathwork, you're not reflecting on your relationships or working to forgive a harmful choice or learning something new that you didn't know yesterday. You're not choosing to love somebody. You're not choosing to engage in active contemplation of humbleness and love. You're not choosing love.

What . . . you thought love was an instinctive process that didn't require any effort on your part?

It's fine to begin the process of active contemplation by sitting quietly, slowing your breathing, and relaxing your brain. Sometimes this starting point is called "centering." Centering is helpful. But choosing to meditate so you can escape from your own emotional self -- not so helpful.

I understand how wonderful it can seem at first to be able to sit down and not have to listen to all the annoying, confusing, stressful thoughts going round and round in your head. This is the great appeal of intensive meditation practice. But there's a huge cost to this kind of practice, and you need to know about it. You need to know that if you place your spiritual eggs in the meditation basket, the long term cost will be a greater sense of distance between you and God, not a smaller sense of distance.

I'm not being cruel or judgmental here. I'm being rigorously scientific. Traditional Buddhist meditation practices are specifically designed to create an internal experience that matches the outward belief in "dependent origination." In this context, meditation is a highly effective practice for those who wish to focus solely on human will without regard for the needs of relationship with a personal God (Buddhism being a non-theistic philosophy). Meditation does exactly what it claims to do: it does a very good job of helping people shut down the painful emotional centres related to love, grief, trust, forgiveness, and humbleness.

However, since you need all these emotional centres in order to feel your connection with God's love, the one thing pure meditative practice cannot do is help you get closer to God. Even though it can be painful to deal with love, grief, trust, forgiveness, and humbleness, these emotions are part of the soul, and you can't deny these feelings or ignore them if you want to get closer to God. Instead, you have to learn to work with them in positive and mature and transformative ways. (Jesus called this "entering the kingdom of the heavens.")

Major world religions share one universal characteristic: each religion has thousands and thousands of theories and doctrines and traditions about who God is, how Creation came into being, and how human beings should correctly understand their relationship with Creation. It's so complicated that no human brain can make sense of it all.

It's no wonder, then, that it never occurs to us that building a relationship with God might actually mean using the ordinary tools we already have inside our bodies and brains -- the tools we're born with because God put them there through the process of evolution.

In other words, God, the great scientist, expects you not to waste the healing gift of sleep.


* Because Pure Land Buddhism focuses on love and empathy, I partially exclude this tradition from my general remarks on meditation -- though only partially.


Addendum October 19, 2017: In a Scientific American post on October 11, 2017, writer Bret Stetka reviews some of the recent research into meditation and mindfulness-based interventions: "Where's the proof that mindfulness meditation works?" 

Addendum November 6, 2017: In a Scientific American post on October 31, 2017, psychology professor Cindi May writes about a large mindfulness study involving adolescents: "Mindfulness Training for Teens Fails Important Test"

Addendum December 1, 2019: It's generally supposed that meditation practitioners experience only positive effects from the practice. Here are two articles that remind us the reality is more nuanced. One is a 2019 essay called "The Problem of Mindfulness" by Sahanika Ratnayake. The other piece, "There's a dark side to meditation that nobody talks about" by Lila MacLellan from 2017, briefly reviews some of the challenging issues of meditation.

Addendum February 7, 2021: Here's another article that presents a balanced picture about the practice of mindfulness: "How too much mindfulness can spike anxiety" by David Robson, posted February 4, 2021 on the BBC.

Addendum November 29, 2021: A recent study suggests that independent-minded individuals can become less altruistic and more selfish when using certain mindfulness techniques. The study is reviewed in "How mindfulness could make you selfish" by David Robson, posted August 16, 2021 on BBC Worklife.

 

For Further Reflection:

Have you ever asked yourself why meditation places such an important role in the life of a devout Buddhist? Is it a simple tool, a spiritual practice to help you advance toward the goalless goal of happiness and compassion? Or is it something more, an internal path of immanence that may guide you eventually to the bliss of Oneness (i.e. dependent origination) if your faith is strong enough? Is meditation less a practice and more a sacrament? If so, can this sacrament be detached from its Buddhist roots and applied neutrally to other faith traditions without any consequences?

People who have grown up in the Christian tradition are familiar with the power of sacraments to change how we choose to relate to each other and to Creation. Sometimes, during great crises, it's only our connection to the power of sacraments that keeps us from falling apart.

In most mainline Protestant churches, there are only two sacraments: Baptism and the Eucharist. In the Roman Catholic church, seven sacraments are recognized: Baptism, Penance, Confirmation, Marriage, Eucharist, Holy Orders, and Anointing of the Sick. In the Eastern Orthodox tradition, the concept of sacraments is broader and more fluid. And in various aboriginal religions, the concept is broader still.

Regardless of religious tradition, however, human beings are drawn to the mystery of sacraments, to the places, symbols, and experiences that help us feel connected to God and all Creation. We crave such sacraments and we feel quite lost when they're stripped away from us. The history of iconoclasm shows us that whenever our leaders try to eradicate our heart-based connection to the sacred, we rebel. Even Buddhism has rebelled through its imagery, its architecture, its mandalas and prayer wheels, and its other sacred symbols of the teachings.

Because Christian sacraments typically involve external rituals and symbols, we tend to think of them as, well, external. It doesn't occur to us to think of Buddhist meditation -- an internal experience, if ever there was one -- as a sacrament. But it fulfills every need of a sacrament because it embodies in a biological way the cosmogonical doctrines of the religion. Every time you engage in meditation as a Buddhist, you're reminded of the cosmogonical doctrine of dependent origination, and you're striving to match every aspect of your life to that doctrine. This is no different than what Pauline Christians do when they take the Eucharist and remind themselves they must try harder to match their lives to the pattern of Jesus Christ, whom they believe was with God at the beginning of time.

Sacraments link theoretical doctrine to daily life, but sacraments differ from religion to religion because the theories of God differ from religion to religion. The sacraments are like the outer branches of the spiritual tree; they can only grow from the specific roots that nourish them.

There's no doubt from a scientific perspective that traditional Buddhist meditation techniques affect the wiring of the human brain in distinctive ways. All religious practices, regardless of origin, have some sort of effect on the brain if they're repeated often enough. So the question you need to ask yourself is this: do you want to enthusiastically embrace a practice -- a sacrament -- that's specifically designed to help you overcome the idea that you need a personal God in your life?

Or would it be more helpful for you to graciously accept the right of all people to choose their own path, and then humbly go your own way without fear that you're messing up your own quest?