LSP54: Why Hatred Is a Free Will Choice - And Why Everyone Needs to Face the Truth about Hatred

It's common these days for spiritual leaders of all stripes to speak eloquently and volubly of love's power to heal the world. We're especially keen to talk about the power of love after we've been asked to deal with yet another horrific attack on innocent people, such as the recent gun attack at Stoneman Douglas high school  or the van attack in Toronto. When our fellow human beings choose to behave like monsters, we're quick to respond by offering our thoughts and prayers on social media, hold candlelight vigils, and make donations on crowd-sourcing sites. This is all well and good. What I don't see is a willingness on the part of influential commentators to ask why the perpetrators in question felt such hatred towards others and why they thought it was okay to act on their hatred. I don't see people asking what hatred is and why we're seeing a resurgence of this beastly human emotion throughout the world.

It's not good enough to sweep these questions under the carpet by proclaiming that hatred is simply a void in a person's head where love should be, as if it's not the hate-filled person's fault.

Hatred is not a lack of anything. Hatred is a choice. And unless you can demonstrate that your biological brain has been catastrophically damaged by a head injury or a viral attack or mercury poisoning or something else along the lines of an extreme physiological force, you yourself are responsible for your choice to hate others.

Here is my working definition of hatred: Hatred is the choice to project your own personal responsibility onto somebody else so you don't have to deal with the consequences of your own thoughts, feelings, or actions. 

Hatred is the choice to blame other people for your own lack of happiness.

Hatred is the choice to blame other people for your own selfishness.

Hatred is the choice to blame other people for your own status addiction.

Hatred is the choice to blame other people for your own lack of self-knowing and self-love.

Hatred is the choice to blame other people for the rage you feel when someone tells you you've made a mistake.

Hatred is the choice to blame other people for the rage you feel when someone tells you you're not special and you're not chosen and you're not "better" than anyone else.

Hatred is the choice to blame other people for the rage you feel when someone tells you you're not perfect and you're never going to be perfect.

Hatred is the choice to blame other people because you don't think you should ever have to deal with your own feelings of shame or guilt.

Hatred is the choice to blame other people when you realize you haven't yet achieved your rightful place as a saviour, Messiah, or enlightened teacher of justice and mercy, a place you're so certain you deserve.

Hatred is an inevitable consequence of believing that happiness is more important in your life than meaning; that morality is and should be fluid because our genetics demand we survive at all costs; that status acquisition is a true measure of why you're worthy of worship; that self-knowing is dependent on measures of happiness instead of measures of meaning.

Hatred is an inevitable consequence of your own belief that you already know yourself so well that you couldn't possibly fool yourself into believing things about yourself that simply aren't true.

Among the self-delusions that create no end of human suffering are these: a belief that you're incapable of making mistakes because you have all the right education and all the right knowledge; a belief that you're better than other people because you have the only correct ideological understanding of the universe; a belief in the superiority of your own mental processes because your logic is obviously impeccable; a belief that you deserve to feel moral outrage if anyone suggests you should feel shame or guilt about the choices you've made; a belief that you're using all your exquisite knowledge and specialness and logic to save other people from their own stupidity (though you usually have the sense not to say this part out loud).

In short, hatred is your brain's way of trying to prove to itself that you're a really nice person who's trying to save others when, in fact, you're a mean, nasty person who's narcissistic and selfish and refuses to take personal responsibility for your own choices and beliefs and attitudes towards others.

Hatred is a terrible force, and it creates indescribable suffering in the world, but it exists only because individual human beings and certain communities allow it to exist.

It exists where individuals and ideological communities (including many religious and spiritual traditions, not least several branches of Christianity and most branches of Buddhism) refuse to be honest with themselves about what human beings are capable of when they embrace a loving and humble relationship with both God and with themselves as souls-in-human-form. Of course, the choice to love with humbleness and courage is also a choice. Love and hate are at opposite ends of the free will spectrum. Choose one or the other because you can't have both

. 

What love looks like: lots of open space. The well in the cloister garden of Westminster Abbey, London, England. Photo credit JAT 2023.

What hatred looks like: lots of rigid words. It's your job to listen to what your preachers tell you and decide for yourself whether the words you're hearing come from a place of love or a place of hatred. Don't be fooled by hatred masquerading as a promise of salvation. Photo credit JAT 2016.

A particular passage in the New Testament summarizes these thoughts beautifully. The passage I'm thinking of is found in 1 Corinthians 13:1-8a, so it's long been attributed to the apostle Paul. I'm pretty certain, however, that this short and timeless ode to Divine Love was written by Jesus and later stolen by Paul as part of the latter's ongoing efforts to make his teachings seem more closely aligned with those of Jesus.

It goes like this (using the NRSV translation, mostly):

If I speak in the tongues of mortals and of angels, but do not have love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have piety, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give away all my possessions, and if I hand over my body so that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Love never ends.

Amen.

LSP49: Humanity's Search for Meaning in the 2016 U.S. Election

This post has gone through a lot of changes since I first wrote it just after the 2016 U.S. elections. But instead of deleting the entry, I've decided to use the changes as an example of this maxim: "How you do anything is how you do everything."

 

In 2021, after I moved into a new home, I discovered this plaster plaque had snapped in half during the moving process. I reminds me of what happens inside the biological brain of someone who has abandoned his or her own conscience. Angels stop gathering with you. Angels still love you and forgive you, but angels aren't obliged to help you if you're voting for the world leaders who know only Hate. Angels have Free Will, too. Photo credit JAT 2021.

 

Addendum March 1, 2025:  I wrote this short piece for an online forum. It expresses how I'm feeling about the current U.S. political swamp, so I'm adding it here. For context, I'm writing about the disastrous Oval Office meeting that took place between Trump 2.0, Vice-President Vance, and Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy on February 28, 2025.

So yesterday afternoon, I decided it would be nice to lie down on my sofa and have a bit of a rest after lunch. The sun was peeking out after a long, heavy, winter rain, and I thought, "Yes, it can't hurt to have a nap."

And while I was sleeping, Trump and Vance decided it was a good time to try to wreck the whole world.

I'm tired of hearing Trump say he wants the war in Ukraine to end because "millions of people of dying." If he cared at all about the lives of regular people, he wouldn't have chosen the dogs of hellfire to be his closest advisors.

The lies, the hypocrisy, the projection onto others of all his own venom -- these are the traits of a human being who has given up any semblance of decency, compassion, courage, and self-awareness.

Some commentators have suggested it would have been better if the conversation between Zelenskyy, Trump, and Vance had taken place behind closed doors. I disagree. Bullies, narcissists, and psychopaths adore secrecy, because secrecy allows them to deny they ever violated anyone.

Because it was all caught on film, individuals can now decide for themselves what they saw, what they learned, and what side of the debate they resonate with. Regardless of what one believed the day before yesterday about these three men, there's no unseeing the real intents that emerged in the Oval Office yesterday.

It's better that we know and keep remembering what we all saw (even though it's triggering for far too many people).

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Addendum posted November 2, 2024: Today, I'm doing something I've never done before. I've decided to delete the entire post I originally wrote on November 11, 2016. I'm deleting it because the election campaign of 2024 has taught me that vehement supporters of Donald Trump are willing to embrace any lies he tells them. These supporters have abandoned their own conscience and their own inner voice. They've decided they shouldn't have to take personal responsibility for their own choices. Many seem happy to follow any conspiracy theory rather than do the hard work of finding meaning through the Soul's courage.

If I leave the original post intact, it will be misused. And those who want to misuse it will get away with it because far-right Trump supporters aren't interested in the moral code taught by Jesus. They're trying to grow a very different kind of religious tree, one rooted in purity, piety, and perfection. They believe the glorification of Trump will bring about some sort of utopian restoration. They believe all their lies and all their violent, misogynistic rhetoric are justified because their goal is so worthy.

They are wrong.

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Addendum posted January 3, 2024: Because of recent changes in how individuals tend to read online posts and use -- or rather, misuse -- posts (by taking bits and pieces out of context and using catchy phrases to support their personal crusades), I want to say right up front, before you get to the paragraphs I wrote in November 2016, that I do not support former President Donald Trump in any way on any topic. Nor am I likely to ever change my mind. He is a coward -- a bullying, narcissistic, selfish coward.

In 2016, I didn't have the evidence to support or condone a flat out, across the board denunciation of the personality and policies of Donald Trump. But since the January 6, 2021 violence on Capitol Hill, Trump has, through his own words and actions, provided abundant proof about the kind of man he really is. Today, I wouldn't vote for him if he were the last person in Christendom.

Following this addendum is the post I originally wrote over seven years ago. You can decide for yourself whether Trump believes he's been elevated to the status of God.

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Addendum posted January 13. 2021: It's been a bit over 4 years since I wrote this post, and, during this time, a lot has changed. The entire world has been dealing with the unexpected travails of the novel coronavirus we call COVID-19. And the United States has again struggled with an election where a man named Donald Trump has forced a debate about the soul.

I'm writing this addendum on the day the U.S. House of Representatives is going to vote on a motion to impeach Trump for inciting insurrection. I hope the vote succeeds.

Over the past four years, Trump has shown with increasing clarity that he has no courage. He doesn't have the courage to listen to his own soul, let alone the souls of millions of Americans who needed a courageous leader during the 2020 pandemic, but instead found themselves saddled with someone who could only think about his own loss of Happiness when he lost the fall election.

On the plus side, people from both the Democratic and Republican parties have been appalled by the barrage of lies spewed by Trump and his closest supporters, lies that directly incited violence on Capitol Hill on January 6, 2021. America has been forced to see the ugly side of rhetoric, personality cults, and dualistic political mongering -- all negative aspects of System 2 when left unchecked by System 1.

It's a lesson we all should have learned from 20th century history, but apparently we needed a refresher. 

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LSP22: Problems with Eternea.Org

Yesterday I visited the website (www.eternea.org) listed in the back of Eben Alexander's book Proof of Heaven and was again disappointed. It wasn't the first time. I signed up to be an Eternea member on February 2, 2013 so I could read forum posts on the message boards and also reply to them. Alas, there's no longer any point in signing up to be a "regular Joe Public" member of Eternea. Such members don't seem welcome.

 

At some point over the past few years (I'm not sure exactly when), the Eternea.org website was totally revamped. The original message board I complain about here was removed. In addition, the original Seven Statements were expanded to include Fifteen Elaborations (because apparently seven statements weren't enough). Eternea is now a non-profit group, and part of its mission statement says, "Eternea endorses a scientific approach to the study of spiritually transformative experiences and survival of consciousness after bodily death, as well as the relationship between consciousness and physical matter with special emphasis on torsion physics." Eternea appears to be trying to build yet another of humanity's failed Gnostic bridges to "Source," but it's not a bridge I recognize or recommend. As always, I suggest you learn to trust your own instincts about such teachings. Photo credit JAT 2021.

From the beginning, the Eternea forums were difficult to use because they were so heavily moderated. You'd post a comment, then wait for several days to see whether or not the moderator would approve it. Meanwhile, your comment wouldn't be visible to anyone but yourself. This made it difficult to carry on a dialogue or conversation with other members.

For months now, it's been rare to see a new comment appear on any of the Eternea forum threads. I tried starting a new thread on the Religion, Spirituality and Beliefs forum on April 13, 2014. As far as I can tell, it was never approved. (At least, I think it was never approved -- the way the message board is designed makes it awkward and confusing to figure out which of your own posts have been approved.)

So what's going on here? Why are there so few new comments? I doubt it's from a lack of interest among regular people. I think regular people want to talk about their unusual spiritual experiences. I think regular people want to share their stories with other people (without fearing their personal stories will be co-opted for Eben Alexander's next book projects). I think people want a safe place where they can talk about God and the soul and the afterlife without being laughed at, rejected, or treated as mentally defective.

Unfortunately, the Eternea site is not that safe place.

Dr. Alexander has a new book coming out in October 2014. It's called The Map of Heaven, and although I can't tell you anything about it (because it hasn't been released yet), it seems that in this book Dr. Alexander "shares some of the stories that . . . people have told him."

Well, I'm curious about that.  I'm curious about the fact that when you go to Dr. Alexander's own website (www.ebenalexander.com) and click on "Stories of the Eternal: Share Your Story," you don't get to read stories left by other readers.  You get to read this disclaimer:

"You understand that by submitting this letter/story it may be used on the website and in other media projects including books related to Dr. Alexander's work without restriction.  However, your email address will not appear.  Select 'No' if this is a private message."

For the record, I submitted a personal letter to Dr. Alexander via his lifebeyonddeath.net website on October 24, 2012. I sent him one personal snail-mail letter (addressed to Eternea's Deerfield Beach, Florida address) on November 14, 2012. I also submitted a "spiritually transformative experience report" to Eternea on November 6, 2012. In all these communications, I indicated that I'm a practising mystic who has a continuing and voluntary experience of connection with God in what Dr. Alexander calls "the Core." I expressed my willingness to share more about my ongoing experiences as part of the wider project of investigating consciousness and the soul. I've never heard back from anyone affiliated with Dr. Alexander or Eternea.

Fortunately, I keep records of all my communications, so I know exactly what I said to Dr. Alexander and Eternea.  I told him I have scientific insights into the voluntary mystical state that allows one to connect with God and Divine Love on an ongoing basis. Yet, because I've had no reply, I've sadly come to the conclusion that the information I can offer isn't of interest to him or his team of researchers.

My personal story doesn't line up perfectly with Dr. Alexander's conclusions. In fact, I disagree with him on a number of major points he's raised. However, this kind of disagreement doesn't usually stop researchers from engaging in debate and ethical criticism. In fact, it's this kind of disagreement that usually leads to greater insights and stronger research.

Eben, you'll have to decide for yourself about the path you're following. Please take the time to recall that Divine Love doesn't insist you always be right. Instead, Divine Love calls upon you to be honest about your human limitations and to find the courage to admit it when you discover you've made a mistake. There's no shame in making mistakes. But there's lots of suffering in the attempt to cover them up.

Blessings,
Jen

The Eternea oganization seems to have fallen into the tragic cycle of planting a crop of hope and then failing to nurture it appropriately. Come on, people. Smarten up! There's no way in hell you're ever going to have all the answers, so stop pretending you're the only gateway to God's truth. We've all been through the perils of over-zealous gatekeeping many times over. It doesn't work! Swallow your pride, forgive yourselves, and move on. 

 

For Further Reflection:

I think it's very helpful for those on a spiritual journey to read widely about the transformative experiences of others. Sometimes we're encouraged by spiritual leaders to stop reading from "mundane" sources; that is, books and articles not specifically focused on spirituality and the Divine. We're led to believe we've risen above these mundane sources. But if every person on the planet is a child of God (whether he or she knows it), there's always the potential for people to contribute in meaningful ways to the growth of healing and Peace, with or without their direct knowledge of God.

Every tale of courage and loving commitment is important, because inspiring stories resonate with our souls and remind us who we can really be. We all learn a lot from each other's struggles. Just knowing that one other person has navigated the same difficult situation you're facing and has come out okay is a source of encouragement. Sharing and learning from our painful experiences brings us face to face with our own Hearts. In doing so, we begin to be able to see the face of God.

It's all in the pain, you see. You've been told by every major religion that pain is a sign of unworthiness, inferiority, karmic recycling, Divine punishment, and the like. The Four Noble Truths of Buddhism, for instance, begin with the statement that life is dukkha (suffering). Pain is considered the opposite of salvation and enlightenment and pure Divine Love. Pain is the thing religion is supposed to rescue you from.

Absolutely nobody tells you that God the Mother and God the Father know more about pain than any of the rest of us will ever know.

One of the hardest things for angels to understand is the pain caused by Oneness. As angels, we belong to a vast Divine Family where we share a common morality (a morality of boundaries) and a common sense of devotion to each other (Divine Love), but in other respects we're very different from each other. The roots of our Mother and Father's loving relationship have grown a garden in Creation where untold diversity is possible. If you think the breathtaking variation of evolutionary life on Planet Earth blows your mind, you should see the indescribable breadth of colours and shapes and sizes and talents of the angels in God's universe!

Because God's universe is radically egalitarian -- because each unique soul is equally loved -- angels are all on different learning paths. We're not required to learn the same things in the same way at the same time. At some points in our growth, we'll need to receive more help than we give, and at other points, we'll give more help than we receive. It's organic. It's a blend of order and chaos. It's changeable. And sometimes it even hurts. But there's no obstacle and no pain that can't be transformed into something infinitely mysterious and beautiful by the courage of Divine Love. The Heart is the place deep within the self where this transformation takes place.

Angels live and breathe this kind of heart-based learning. So when Mother Father God try to explain to us that long, long ago and far, far away the universe was structured according to the mind-based principles of Oneness, we can't understand a word they're saying.

So some of us come here to Planet Earth to check it out.

It's important to note that Oneness and belonging aren't the same thing. As psychologist Abraham Maslow noted, one of the core human needs is a sense of love and belonging. We all need it. And when we don't get it -- when we don't have the sense of being warmly and sincerely accepted within our group despite our quirks and lack of perfection -- we feel disheartened, discouraged, and depressed. If we're using our Hearts (rather than just our Minds), we feel similarly depressed when painful things happen to our friends and family. Because we love, we share in the pain of those we cherish. Because we love, the journey toward healing, repair, and Peace is communal.

As the early seventeenth century English poet John Donne wrote, “No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main. If a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as well as if a manor of thy friend's or of thine own were: any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind, and therefore never send to know for whom the bells tolls; it tolls for thee.”

Oneness isn't a state of belonging. It's a state of control -- control over pain. It's an attempt to use pure logic, law, and knowledge to transcend all sources of pain and replace them with happiness.

It sounds absolutely wonderful at first, doesn't it? And because it sounds like the perfect pathway to Peace, millions and millions of people have tried to make Oneness work.

Here's why it doesn't work. It doesn't work because Oneness focuses on equality of outcomes instead of equality of relationships. The final goal -- "everyone is now happy" -- is considered far more important than any of the methods used to get to the goal. So relationships are discarded as those who are faster, smarter, and stronger take over the process to speed it up for everyone else. Those who are faster, smarter, and stronger consider themselves saviours, not tyrants. But before long, they start to believe that those who are slower, less smart, and weaker are inferior and farther down the ladder of perfection. Hierarchies develop. Then, before you can say Kim Jong-un, you have a despotic leader at the very top of the hierarchy who believes he's been divinely chosen to bring happiness to all his citizens by forcing every single one of them to believe what he believes, to learn things in the way he learns things, and to be happy in the way he defines happiness.

One of the great gifts of democracy (when it's done halfway right) is that individual citizens have the right to choose how they will handle pain and how they will approach happiness. This is a blessing that few of us recognize or appreciate. But without it, we become nothing more than the numbered drones in any of the dystopian science fiction novels and films that capture the terror of Oneness so well.

God thinks your story and your journey is uniquely important, and you should, too.

So be part of your community. But always remember to be your own self, too.

Don't let anyone else steal your right to heal your pain in the way that works best for you. Just don't steal anyone else's right while you're at it.